The Cycle is Wrong - Money & Parenting
I’ve often wondered if life got the sequence of parenting and financial stability completely backwards. Wouldn’t it be ideal to welcome children after we’ve reached our peak earning years, paid off the house, built a healthy cushion of savings, and set every bill on Autopay, without thinking about money. Imagine becoming a parent at a time when we finally feel a sense of clarity and control over our finances.
But that’s rarely how life unfolds. Most of us start our families when we’re still building our careers and figuring out our financial systems. We go from tiny apartments to our first homes while juggling childcare costs, workplace ambitions, and the pressure to get it right. Just as our household grows, so do our expenses. And just when children need us most emotionally, our finances need us the most. It’s a race to keep income rising, maintain a home in a good school district, and still find the energy to be present at bedtime.
In theory, it sounds so appealing to have children later, once the career foundation is solid and life feels more financially stable. Even with modern options like egg freezing and fertility support, our stamina won’t keep up. Yes, older parents may have more financial security, but raising toddlers in your late forties or fifties comes with its own form of exhaustion that money can’t solve.
During those early parenting years, you are trying to earn more, save more, and make wiser long-term financial decisions, all while navigating school forms, pediatric appointments, sports schedules, birthday parties, and carving out family time. There are school forms that still require handwritten signatures, the sports teams that use apps that don’t always sync with your calendar, and the daily internal debate on whether you packed a healthy lunch for school.
Yet during this chaos, I’ve learned something important from working with families. With thoughtful planning, the messy middle years, when your career is still taking shape and your kids need you intensely, this time can become a time of empowerment rather than overwhelm.
Financial planning in this chapter is about building support systems, reducing stress, and making intentional choices that allow you to enjoy your family and your life today, even while preparing for tomorrow. You deserve to enjoy this chapter, not just survive it. With the right guidance, compassion, and a plan tailored to the life you are living right now, the cycle may not feel quite so backwards after all.